“Wait…This Isn’t Just Me?”

I know there are people out there who have spent most of their lives feeling like they just couldn’t get their act together. Deadlines feel impossible, small talk is exhausting, and somehow, everyone else seems to “just know” how to navigate office politics and social cues.

If you’ve ever had that moment where your entire past suddenly makes so much sense, you know exactly what I’m talking about. While many people are diagnosed as children, countless others don’t receive their diagnosis until adulthood.

And here’s the best part: It’s not too late. Whether you’re newly diagnosed, suspect you might be neurodivergent, or simply want to understand yourself better — this isn’t the end of the story. It’s the beginning of learning how to work with your brain, not against it.

Why So Many Adults Go Undiagnosed

Many of us grew up with outdated ideas of what ADHD and autism looked like. If you weren’t the hyperactive kid disrupting class or the socially withdrawn child struggling to communicate, you were probably told you were “just quirky” or “not applying yourself.”

Here’s the truth: Neurodiversity isn’t just one thing — it’s a spectrum. And many adults, especially in tech fields, have been unknowingly adapting their whole lives.

Common signs that may have been overlooked:
✅ Hyperfocus on things you love but complete avoidance of boring tasks.
✅ “Smart but scattered” reputation growing up.
✅ Struggling with small talk but thriving in deep, intellectual discussions.
✅ Needing structure but hating being micromanaged.
✅ Sensory overload in noisy environments (or loving certain repetitive stim-like activities).
✅ Feeling like you’re always either all in or completely checked out.

If any of this resonates, you’re not alone. And if you’re wondering if a diagnosis could change your life? It absolutely can.

The Stigma of Late Diagnosis (And Why It’s Wrong)

For many, the hardest part isn’t realizing they might be neurodivergent — it’s unlearning the years of self-blame and misconceptions about what that means.

🔹 “But You’re Too Smart for ADHD/Autism!”
Your intelligence isn’t the issue. Executive function is. You can be brilliant at debugging complex code but still forget your lunch in the microwave three times in a row.

🔹 Impostor Syndrome & Internalized Stigma
Many neurodivergent adults spend years feeling like they should be able to function like everyone else. A diagnosis doesn’t mean you’re broken — it means you finally understand your own operating system.

🔹 Workplace Challenges & Masking
Masking — hiding neurodivergent traits to fit in — takes an enormous amount of energy. Many professionals compensate by working harder, staying late, or relying on tech to keep them organized. But that doesn’t mean the struggles aren’t real.

The good news? Understanding yourself allows you to build better strategies.

ADHD vs. Autism: The Many Faces of Neurodivergence

The Three Types of ADHD

1. Inattentive ADHD: Zoning out in meetings, forgetting deadlines, struggling with organization.

2. Hyperactive-Impulsive ADHD: Restlessness, interrupting conversations, needing constant movement or novelty.

3. Combined Type: A mix of both.

Forget the stereotype of the hyperactive boy bouncing off the walls. Many ADHD adults don’t even realize they have it, especially if they’re high-achieving professionals.

Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD)

Autism isn’t just about social struggles — it’s a fundamental difference in how the brain processes information. Common traits include:

✔️ Deep dives into niche interests (aka, the “I must know everything about this” mode).
✔️ Sensory sensitivities — strong reactions to noise, textures, lighting, or crowds.
✔️ Thinking in patterns, structures, or rigid rules.
✔️ Masking to fit in socially, often leading to exhaustion.

What If You Have Both?

A huge number of people in tech have traits of both ADHD and autism. You might struggle with focus and impulsivity (ADHD) but also love deep focus and routines (autism). The combination can be an incredible strength once you understand it.

Why Women Get Diagnosed Later

🔹 They learn to mask early. Girls are taught to be polite, organized, and socially aware, even when it’s exhausting.
🔹 They internalize symptoms. Instead of acting hyperactive, they might develop anxiety or perfectionism.
🔹 Their symptoms look different. Daydreaming, struggling with executive function, sensory overload — but rarely the “classic” ADHD behaviors.

For many women, an ADHD or autism diagnosis doesn’t come until they hit burnout in adulthood. But it’s never too late to make changes.

How a Late Diagnosis Can Change Everything

Getting diagnosed as an adult is equal parts relief and frustration.

✅ Relief: Finally understanding why you’ve struggled in ways others haven’t.
🚩 Frustration: Realizing how much earlier support could have helped.
🛠️ Empowerment: Learning how to actually work with your brain.

A diagnosis isn’t the end. It’s the start of doing things on your terms.

How to Thrive as a Neurodivergent Professional

🧠 Leverage Your Strengths

• ADHD? Use hyperfocus strategically for problem-solving.
• Autism? Your ability to see patterns and analyze systems is a huge asset.

📌 Accommodations That Actually Work

• Noise-canceling headphones (because open offices are the worst).
• Task automation apps (external memory = lifesaver).
• Flexible schedules (because neurodivergent brains don’t run on 9-to-5).

🤝 Find Your People

There are so many neurodivergent professionals out there. Connecting with them can be life-changing. Find communities, mentors, and companies that understand how your brain works.

Final Thoughts: You Are Not Broken

Getting diagnosed late doesn’t mean you were “faking” your struggles before. It means you were fighting battles without a map. Now, you have the map.

If you’ve been wondering whether you might be neurodivergent, or if you’ve been recently diagnosed, know this:

🟢 You are not lazy.
🟢 You are not failing.
🟢 You are not “too smart” to need support.

You are wired differently. And once you start working with that wiring instead of against it? Everything changes. One of the first things that starts to change is that you finally begin to accept yourself and build a self-esteem rooted in the truth: you are not broken — you are wired exactly as you’re supposed to be.